The word forgive has several different meanings in the New Testament. In Mathew 18 verse 27 the word forgave is from the Greek wordaphiemei meaning, "to send away or to release." Webster's Dictionary defines forgive as such:
1 a: to give up resentment of, or claim to requital for. (example: forgive an insult.) b: to grant relief from payment of. (example: forgive a debt.)2: to cease to feel resentment against (an offender)
II Corinthians 5:18 And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;
Now, the word reconciliation in II Corinthians 5:18 is fromkatallage, meaning "restoration to favour." So, forgiveness and reconciliation are not synonymous. Forgiveness does not necessarily restore a relationship between two conflicting parties.
I'd like to look at Matthew 18:23-35 and point out eight keys to forgiveness.
Matthew 18:23 Therefore, is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants.
The first key we see in verse 23 is that the king took account.
Matthew 18:24 And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents.
The second is that the debtor does not have the means to repay the debt. Just how much money do you think a servant made a week? According to the English standard version, a talent was a monetary unit worth about twenty years' wages for a laborer. In our day and time, ten thousand talents would be millions of dollars. So even with over time, this servant could never pay back this debt in ten life times. Verse 25 continues.
Matthew 18:25 But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.
The third key here is anger. Anger is a normal reaction to injustice, but must be released before freedom will come. The Lord of the servant had every right to be angry. However, holding on to anger will become dangerous.
Ephesians 4:26-27 26Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: 27Neither give place to the devil.
To react to a wrong is normal. However, if you refuse to let your anger go, at some point you will give place to the Devil. If you hold on to your anger long enough, anger will take on a life of its own and begin to hold on to you.
(continuing on with Matthew 18).
Matthew 18:26 The servant therefore fell down, and worshiped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.
The fourth key here is, the power of forgiveness lies totally in the hands of the one holding the note. It has nothing to do with the one being forgiven, even if he refuses it.
Matthew 18:27-28 27Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion and loosed him, and forgave him the debt. 28But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellow servants, which owed him a hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest. The fifth key is that forgiveness only has the power to change the one forgiving, not the one being forgiven. You can see that from this man's actions that the forgiveness he received didn't change him in the least.Matthew 18:29 And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.
Here we come to the sixth key. Often the offended one will look to the indebted one for repayment before they forgive. True forgiveness does not depend on you receiving compensation. You must be willing to forgive without any strings attached.
Matthew 18:30 And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt.
The seventh key here is the integrity and sincerity of the indebted offender is not critical for true forgiveness to be administered.
Matthew 18:31-34 31So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done. 32Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: 33Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellow servant, even as I had pity on thee? 43And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.
The last key is that:Forgiveness benefits the forgiver more than the one forgiven.
What put this servant in a position that he was now delivered to the tormenters? He refused to forgive. People today do the same thing to themselves when they refuse to forgive. But they all have good excuses for holding on to their unforgiveness. The truth is that when we refuse to forgive, no matter what the reason, we put ourselves in the same danger.
Matthew 18:35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.
This is not God's doing, it is ours. When we refuse to obey we will receive the consequences of our disobedience. Now let me talk to you about reconciliation.
Reconciliation means "to restore to favor." In the New Testament,reconciliation is "to restore the favor of God to sinners that repent, and put their trust in Christ." The key here is that the sinner must first repent, then he can enjoy God's reconciliation.
Reconciliation requires the debtor come to the place where he is willing to confess the error of his way.
So forgiveness and reconciliation are not synonymous.
Luke 19:1-9 1And Jesus entered and passed through Jericho. 2And, behold, there was a man named, Zacchaeus, which was the chief among the publicans, and he was rich. 3And he sought to see Jesus who he was; and could not for the press, because he was little of stature. 4And he ran before, and climbed up into a sycamore tree to see him: for he was to pass that way.5And when Jesus came to the place, he looked up, and saw him, and said unto him, Zacchaeus, make haste, and come down; for today I must abide at thy house. 6And he made haste, and came down, and received him joyfully. 7And when they saw it, they all murmured, saying, That he was gone to be guest with a man that is a sinner.8And Zacchaeus stood, and said unto the Lord; Behold, Lord, the half of my goods I give to the poor; and if I have taken any thing from any man by false accusation, I restore him fourfold. 9And Jesus said unto him, This day is salvation come to this house forsomuch as he also is a son of Abraham.
Zacchaeus was ready to repay if he did any wrong. This shows us the heart of this wonderful man. If Zacchaeus did hurt anyone, he was willing to make good. Reconciliation requires the debtor come to the place where he is willing to confess the error of his way. Along with this confession, he must give evidence of genuine sorrow of heart and must seek restoration and restitution if possible.
If this cannot be accomplished, if the debtor will not admit to his wrong and accept full responsibility for his crime, reconciliation is not possible. But you still can forgive them. Don't wait for someone to apologize; it may never come. Remember forgiveness is for you.
Luke 23:33-34 33And when they were come to the place, which is called Calvary, there they crucified him, and the malefactors, one on the right hand, and the other on the left. 34Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.
Jesus didn't wait for an apology to forgive them; he always did the Father's will.
John 14:30 Hereafter I will not talk much with you: for the prince of this world cometh, and hath nothing in me.
Why could not the devil find anything in him? Because, Jesus didn't carry any garbage from day to day in his life. He lived free and traveled light. So must we if we are going to serve God.
Hebrews 12:2-3 2Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.
This puts it all in perspective. If Jesus could forgive so many, shouldn't we be able to forgive also?
NAS Proverbs 19:11 Those with good sense are slow to anger, and it is their glory to overlook an offense.Colossians 3:12-13 12Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; 13Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
So, what have we learned?
The eight keys to forgiveness are:
* He took account, you must, too. * The debtor does not have the means to repay the debt. * Anger is a normal reaction to injustice, but must be released before freedom will come.* The power of forgiveness lies totally in the hands of the one holding the note. It has nothing to do with the one being forgiven, even if he refuses it or doesn't know he offended one.* Forgiveness only has the power to change the one forgiving; not the one being forgiven.* Often the offended one will look to the indebted one for repayment before they forgive. Repayment is not necessary.* The integrity and sincerity of the indebted offender is not critical for true forgiveness to be administered.* Forgiveness benefits the forgiver more than the one forgiven.
So, forgiveness and reconciliation are not synonymous. Forgiveness is for you. Reconciliation requires the debtor to come to the place where he is willing to confess the error of his way.
Along with this confession, he must give evidence of genuine sorrow of heart and must seek restoration and restitution if possible. Let's remember our Lord's example and be followers of him.
Let's walk in God's love and forgiveness towards one another and show the Adversary he can't stop us when we dare to believe.ÿ
Note: All scripture is from the King James Version unless otherwise noted. NIV indicates The New International Version, NLT indicates the New Living Translation, NAS indicates the New American Standard version, NKJV indicates the New King James Version, ASV means the American Standard Version, NJB means the New Jerusalem Bible, BBE means the Bible in Basic English, DBY means the Darby translation, NAU means the American Standard Version, 1995 Edition, and NAB means the New American Bible translation. For more information, go to the Works Cited page.